When you break it down, we have 4 Core Fears:
Which one can you relate to? Which one rings a bell inside of you? Go with your gut if you are unsure. Which one holds the most power over you?
My core fear is Rejection or Disapproval. I will go to great lengths to be liked, or to be seen as “good enough. So when I'm feeling small about myself, what do I do? I seek approval, I seek acceptance, I seek to be seen and heard.
To be liked. It’s my core Belief around value and worth, traveling up from childhood - which makes sense, as we all have a little child operating within, no matter how old we are.
As an example, when I feel like someone is upset with me, I start to make up stories about myself - I’m too pushy, or I’m too demanding, I don’t communicate well, she didn’t respond to me, etc. - I create an entire illusion as I have no evidence for any of this and it is just simply to feed my FEAR around REJECTION.
How do I know I’m in my core fear? I feel less than authentic, I feel outside of myself, and I want to control or manipulate the situation. I also experience a heaviness in my heart; I don’t feel fully alive.
These are big keys that I’ve identified for me. What are yours?
Awareness is the key to change, so knowing that REJECTION is my core fear, I can observe myself, or “Spy on Myself” to see how I am showing up in my world. Once I see, I can choose a different response, one that is authentically me. The tip off is how you feel!
I can chose to be honest by admitting to myself that I’m in my fear of rejection. I chose to leave myself by giving myself away for the sake of another. In order to come back to myself, I have to tell my little child within "I’m here and I have you, and you don’t have to please anyone; you are perfect just the way you are!”
BOOM.... the truth.... leads to freedom..... this is a much better road to walk down, yes?
Where do you go? I know when I’m in my freedom and feeling authentic, and I also know when I’m in my false self and feeling like a phoney!
Share your core fear or fears with me, I would love to explore this subject more as I believe it is worth the time and effort.
In fact, my upcoming Beautiful Life Retreat - May 13-15th - will explore this subject at an experiential level, where learning becomes lifestyle. Join me this May!
Still point... what is yours?
I love the sound of those two words, for some reason they create a feeling of calm just saying or thinking them. Is that true for you as well?
December is such a crazy month, with so much to think about, organize, and do... yet, it is a season of connecting, socializing,giving, celebrating.... blah blah blah.
Here is a thought - what if I started my day from my “Still Point” - that place of centeredness, a knowingness of who I am, My truth, that feeling of collectedness... you know that place, where you are untouchable!?
This I know to be true for me, when I do pause in the morning and enter my “Still Point”, that place where I meditate and pray, where I set My intention for the day, where I send love to those whom come to mind, or I do my Angle cards, or... you fill in the blank, my day miraculously flows easier, feels more peaceful, and guess what I feel even more alive, and attuned to love! Yes Love! After all isn’t that what we all crave, to be loved, to feel loved, to be seen, to be heard......
My wish for you this season is for you feel each moment - absorb it, savour it, and fall more in love with your life as a result of Practicing your “ Still Point.”
To the journey, Xo
Let’s talk Happiness despite the Christmas season, shall we!? This is what I know for sure - December is a mixed bag of emotions! Routines are upset, bank accounts stretched - along with waistlines - not to mention less sleep, surface conversations, except if you are
talking to me! Just kidding, I can play the game just as well as anyone out there at those Christmas soirees!
So in order to make the holiday season a little bit easier, here are my 4 strategies to help make this the Happiest Christmas season possible!
1. Don’t over spend.... just don’t! Look at what you can afford and stick to it no matter what. Did you know $1.00 on your card can translate to $10 depending on your balance? Think about that before you charge it! That $20 gift is really not $20 but $40! Puts things into perspective! And for those who do not have CC debt, high five, that is awesome!
2. Moderation - Moderation - Moderation! Maybe one or two nights cut loose, but keep those appy’s and drinks to a minimum otherwise! I go into a party fed and hydrated, and if I’m in my “Healthy game” I sip 1-2 glasses of wine! Except if I’m at Kate and Gary’s! Oh another tip, don’t stand next to the food! Bad tactic! Stand beside the skinny girl, always keeps me in check!
3. Routine – Routine – Routine....Matters even more this month! Why? Because inertia is a killer of momentum! You know all those months of being good, down the drain in 1 month of being bad - So keep going to the gym, go for walks, and don’t compromise your routine. Stay active - 10 minutes of active stretching in the morning is AMAZING for your brain chemistry, translation, and Happiness. Endorphins are those happy guys, and you want to create them through movement, even if you just dance at the party, which is always a good option that doesn't feel like work!
And, the most important thing to do...
4. GIVE... I like to buy a food item each time I’m at Sobey’s and put it in the food bank box at the exit. It keeps me from feeling like I have to do something big at Christmas because I’m doing it all year long! Here’s a thought...When you wake up, send love to everyone you think of - this is an amazing way to give! Then just find ways throughout the day to help, support, encourage, and give...not only will you feel amazing, you will attract amazing things as well!
So there you have it, my thoughts in this moment! Christmas is a gift, because it forces me into a place of giving, receiving, and staying organized! A lot happens in the month... I would love to hear your strategies for making this month as rich and full as possible without burning out and feeling resentful!
Here’s to Creating a Beautiful Life......And don't forget to sign up to receive my Daily Beautiful Life Mantras!
Have you watched the Dove Beautiful commercial? It’s brilliant, and so telling.
There is a line in the commercial that goes like this - “Beautiful is a great word, so why not see what’s on the other side of that?”
Yes, why not? Everyday, you and I have a choice to see ourselves as beautiful or not, so what’s keeping us from not always turning to beautiful?
I remember reading an article that asked a defining question for me? - “When do you feel most beautiful?” The answer took awhile, because I did not really see myself as beautiful. The truth is, beauty is a feeling, it’s an expression of what is going on inside. My answer once I realized that truth was easy, it is “when I’m with my kids, really with them.” I feel such love and intensity in moments when I look at them and realize I am their Mom, nothing can make me feel un-beautiful in those moments, nothing!
I want to leave you with this...Beauty is everywhere, the question is, do you see it? If you think beauty is looks, it’s not. It’s hidden beneath looks, it lies in the soul, and guess what, we are ALL beautiful. Average is just a term used in math! Always remember that!
If you are looking for your "Beautiful" check out my Beautiful Life Retreat, June 19-21, 2015. http://bit.ly/1In1YiD
Oh, such a complex problem! What if I told you that feeling overwhelmed is an issue of perception. Feeling overwhelmed is inevitable in our busy lives - the dog runs away, the dishwasher needs emptying, that proposal needs finishing, and oh yes, you need to sign the parent consent form for kid #2. I encourage you to remember that this is life, and there are a few simple things we can all do to not let that dreaded feeling get near us.
Here are some simple practices to implement - or not - so that you never FEEL overwhelmed!
I trust that this will help. I know as a single Mom of 3, with two businesses I sometimes feel crazy, or like I might explode, and over the years, these tips have served me well.
I would love to hear what yours are? And if you really want some great tips on Creating a Beautiful Life, join me for my next retreat June 19 – 21st, all the details are here!
Let me share a story that rocked my world today, and which I also found to be really interesting. I do Dream Boards, and have for several years now, and I think they are simply magical!
I have this amazing young woman in my life, her name is “Jane”! She is a young mom, hard working, smart, and wounded. I noticed after not having her in my world for quite some time, just how much I missed her. We have done retreats together, several in fact over the years, and I have watched her blossom and wither and blossom again, over this time. I feel motherly around her, like she was a past daughter in a past life somehow. And now she is back - as God’s timing is perfect.
I first got to hear her pain one night among a group of young woman, and recognized my pain in her once upon a time, and invited her to do some “work”. She has forgotten to see herself just like I did. Beautiful, smart, talented, formidable, capable, determined, resourceful, kind..... and so it goes. So to the point, and here is where the dream board comes in to the story. We chatted for a while in my kitchen before we headed upstairs to my office. I’m sure she was not feeling comfortable, as the hardest place to be is in that place called vulnerability, you know that place where you look at your truth, even if it hurts.
Okay, now for the magic moment, I was showing her my new Dream Board and my old one. And on my old one there is a list of “50 things to do, have, become” that I wrote down from 2012 that I carry forward! As I’m glancing at it, I see #18, it says “mentor Jane”! OMG as she sits next to my dream board hanging on the wall it hit me, the perfection of life. I at one time mentored her, and here it is happening again, she is back in my life for a beautiful reason, and that is to give. Interesting that my word and focus for this year is “RELATIONSHIPS”! What I think about, I bring about.
I encourage each of you reading this to do a DREAM BOARD - start by gathering magazines, print pictures off the internet, steal them from your doctor’s office (okay kidding, ask for them). Do something to put into words and pictures, the feelings you want to create this year! Do it now... it’s amazing how they come TRUE!
It’s official - my very first Blog! Blog rhymes with Fog! And that is what if feels like right now for me, what to write about? So I will make it easy on myself and write what I’m truly feeling these days!
I have set some big goals for 2015 and I am feeling afraid...can you relate? I truly believe my biggest enemy is my “Comfort Zone” - you know, that safe peaceful place where you don’t have to really show up! I liken it to a hiding place, a place where if I stay the same, than I don’t really have to feel uncomfortable, I really don’t have to stretch. The enemy of growth is comfort, and the need to feel secure is the goal. I know this, so why is the pull to stay safe so strong?
Okay so now that I have identified the enemy, what to do about it!? Well that’s easy, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”! So here goes, my first blog of many. Merry Christmas to you, I so look forward to getting to know you, and to share my life with you...
The purpose of my business is YOU - I want to assist you in seeking, finding and achieving your ambitions, dreams, desires, hopes and dreams!